Thank you Lord. Thank you that, even when I am lonely, full of self-pity, unloving, ungrateful, unforgiving, careless, disrespectful, feeling abandoned, and desperately grabbing onto everything but You to hold me up, You love me. You care for me and You lovingly bring me back to Your feet and teach me to hold onto You and the grace and mercy that I can only find at the cross of Jesus Christ.

I have really been enjoying this song from All Sons and Daughters. This verse in particular is something I want to explore in scripture:

"Tomorrow’s freedom is today’s surrender
We come before You to lay our burdens down”

What does it mean to be free?

What does it mean to surrender?

What does it mean to lay our burdens down? What does this realistically look like? And why is it necessary for freedom?

We are all bound to something - either to the world (sin) or to God (holy, righteous).

Which are you bound to? Why? Can we find freedom in one, both, or neither?

the question: How does the church get the church goer to take a more active approach to their faith?

If you haven’t read Hebrews 10 in awhile, I highly recommend it. Full of loving warnings and gives me a renewed heart for those outside of Christ.

For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins.” v.26

I know I’ve lived through this before, but I honestly don’t know how.

please don’t leave.

“I hate the feeling when you have to say goodbye to someone you want to spend every minute with.”
— Unknown

(via east-coast-class)


One Year Ago Today.

One year ago today (it was a Tuesday night), I was driving home from an indoor soccer game. I was probably jamming out to the Ambling Alp Pandora station when my phone rings. I pick it up (don’t worry, I have hands free bluetooth in my car) and say hello and find Timothy Bono on the other end of the phone…

A little back story…I had at this point been talking to Tim every Wednesday after church for three/four-ish weeks about online advertising for Christianity Explored class which he was gearing up to teach. We had a good time talking about that and other things on those Wednesday nights and though I thought very highly of him I told myself to not expect anything. I convinced myself he was only talking to me about the class and how we could get more people in the area to come…

So I am in the car and anyone who knows me, knows I cannot multitask, so I tell him I’ll call him back when I get home. As I continue driving I am wondering what he would need to talk about at 9 pm-ish on a Tuesday night, and yes the thought that he was calling for another reason did cross my mind, but I again ruled out that he could possibly be interested in me.

So I get home and I call and he doesn’t pick up. Shoot. Do I call again? Do I wait for him to call? Then the phone rings…phew, don’t have to deal with that dilemma! But now I have to keep my cool. 

I pick up, he asks about my day. I ask about his. He asks me about my game. I think we lost, but o well I just play for fun anyway. Then he tells me why he’s called…He’s asking me out. O my goodness. What? Ah! All going through my head at the same time. He asks if I want to grab a drink with him after church the next day (Wednesday). And I can’t say yes fast enough. And then he seems shocked. “Really? Okay, well I’ll see you tomorrow then.” And we hang up. And I gush and I dance and I call my best friend right that second. She doesn’t pick up. I call her husband. He doesn’t pick up. She calls me back within 5 minutes and I can’t contain my joy! And she has already guessed what happened! I love having a best friend who knows everything about me!                        But now I have a date with one of the most beloved men in our congregation. He’s not only well loved, but also respected and sought after for wisdom and advice and comfort. He is also an excellent preacher and, not to mention, my best friend’s brother (who has adopted me as a sister and whom I highly respect) also highly regards him.

Basically of all the men who could possibly ask me out, he is the best. He is pretty much what any Christian women would want in a man.

To say that this day, one year ago was an important one would be an understatement. This day one year ago was the beginning of a long, fun, sad, happy, difficult, roller-coaster year. This entire year since my incredible boyfriend asked me out has not been easy, but I wouldn’t trade this past year for the world. Together, since that first date, we have built a relationship and a friendship that has withstood more than most couples have in a year’s time. And no, it is not perfect. And yes, we fight and hit walls that we honestly feel are impossible to overcome. But, at the end of everyday I want nothing more than to be with him and he wants to be with me.

I know this is semi-cheesy, but I wanted to write this to remember the amazing year it has been. And to celebrate the relationship that Tim and I have built. And to reminisce about the beginning - his surprise and my excitement. I am so incredibly blessed to have Tim in my life and I am excited for the years to come. I pray that we continue to be a team for God and glorify him in our relationship.